Life's Irony
by Selyann
Summary: Sometimes even the biggest trolls get trolled by life. Such is life's irony.


**Author Note:** Meant to be gen, but if you really want to read it as slash ('yaoi'), suit yourself.

* * *

**Life's Irony**

* * *

Ikebukuro.

The town never slept, regardless of the time of the day. It always bustled with life and was filled with a blaze of colour.

Yellow, green, blue, purple, red.

_Blink blink_ they went, _blink blink_.

'Huh? You had to buy a new car for your chick and you don't have our money?' a dark-skinned man asked with disbelief.

'It's true! But you understand, don't you? I had to do that! I had to show her how strong my love for her is! I don't want her to leave me for –'

A muffled growl.

'If you knew Aya, you'd know what I –'

A cigarette snapped in half.

'Annoying ...'

'I'll pay you back, you know! But you know how it is when you're in love –'

'What the hell ...' a man in a bartender suit growled like a feral animal, clutching his shirt's collar already.

'Eh –?'

'WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THAT!' he yelled while swinging around the poor man who had been making excuses.

'Shizu—!'

And the man flew.

'Ah, not again ...' sighed the dark-skinned man while looking at the disappearing silhouette of the person thrown by his short-tempered bodyguard. 'Well, let's go, Shizuo. It's beginning to rain.'

* * *

And the man flew and flew, over numerous buildings and alleys.

Green, purple, orange, red, blue, yellow.

Blink blink, blink blink.

* * *

It was raining quite heavily now.

* * *

In one of such alleys –

Blue, red, yellow, green, purple, red, orange, white, red.

Blink blink.

Red blink blink red red blink red blink blink blink red red blink red blink red blink red red red blink red blink blink red blink red red blink blink blink red red red blink red blink red red red red red blink red –

Black.

A person's eyelids fell heavily, blocking out any colour.

* * *

'Hey, Shizuo, how about a drink?' came a suggestion.

They were walking in the rain, each carrying a cheap umbrella. It had been a good idea to drop by Don Quijote back when it had only been drizzling.

'You know I don't really drink, Tom-san,' said Shizuo, taking a cigarette and placing it between his lips. 'I'd rather just head home before something even more annoying happens.'

There was a note of urgency in his voice and Tom took the hint. He nodded and waved, and then they parted ways.

'That flea had better not set foot in Ikebukuro today, because I'm not in the mood to deal with him,' Shizuo muttered under his breath as he walked in the rain.

Heavy raindrops drummed loudly against his umbrella, but he did not seem to be bothered by it, too occupied by most irritating thoughts.

* * *

Feeling quite dizzy, he attempted to open his eyes slowly.

Everything was fuzzy and swimming before his eyes.

He could make something out – a vague shape that was becoming slightly clearer with every passing second.

His hand.

And then he felt something cold, wet and solid against his right cheek.

Ah, so he was lying on the ground. That made sense.

Raindrops fell on his other cheek and dampened his short locks.

He noticed a box lying a feet or two away and he gazed at it in silence.

* * *

**An hour earlier**

[Chat room]

_Setton_: So, the film was worth watching?

_Tarou Tanaka_: It was! You should watch it, Setton-san.

_Tarou Tanaka_: The police chase part was a bit boring, though. Took far too much time. (^_^;)

_Kanra_: Ahaha~

_Tarou Tanaka_: I think they could have used that time for something more interesting.

_Setton_: ...

_Setton_: Police chase?

_Kanra_: Oh my, is something wrong, Setton-san?

_Setton_: ...

_Setton_: N–No, it's nothing.

_Setton_: But you should watch out for the traffic cops.

_Setton_: They are really scary, I tell you.

_Setton_: Really, really scary.

_Setton_: I mean it!

_Kanra_: Oooh.

_Tarou Tanaka_: I'll remember that.

_Kanra_: Oops, I think I'll be leaving now.

_Setton_: Are you going somewhere?

_Kanra_: Yes~ (⌒▽⌒)

_Kanra_: I'm going to Ikebukuro for a while~ Why~?

_Tarou Tanaka_: Oh.

_Tarou Tanaka_: You should take an umbrella, Kanra-san. It looks like rain.

[Private] _Kanra_: Aww, I didn't know you cared about me so much~

[Private] _Kanra_: Wouldn't want perverts to ogle me when my clothes get wet and stick to my sexy body? (*´∀`*)

[Private] _Kanra_: Or maybe you just don't want anyone other than you to see~? Kya~!

_Kanra_: Well then, Kanra-chan is off~!

[Private] _Tarou Tanaka_: Ehh?!

[Private] _Tarou Tanaka_: K–Kanra-san?!

_Setton_: See you later.

–– Kanra-san has left the chat room ––

* * *

**Now, Ikebukuro**

Shizuo stopped walking suddenly. Someone bumped into him but they did not voice their irritation upon noticing that he was the Shizuo Heiwajima.

He scrunched up his nose lightly and frowned.

Something was wrong.

Something …

Something –

'Something stinks.'

* * *

His gaze left the rectangular box and returned to the hand.

'How stupid … Why won't it budge?' he thought and narrowed his eyes lightly.

As if to mock him, the hand decided to move now.

A certain spot on his head stung a little, so he rubbed it lightly.

It felt somewhat different though.

He brought the hand back in front of his face and rubbed the fingers against one another while looking at them.

Red red red blink blink red blink red red.

A hollow smile pulled at his lips.

'It couldn't be …'

Red spread over his hand.

'Now this is quite amusing.'

He smelt it.

'So I got shot in the head?'

That explained feeling dizzy quite well.

He looked at his fingers idly, moving them slowly.

'Ah, I wonder who it could have been. To catch me off guard like this … they're something else,' he thought.

The gunshot must have been muffled by the sound of the nightclub nearby. Funny thing, he could not hear the hustle and bustle of the town and his beloved humans any more. Must have been from the head injury too.

'Who would have thought that I, Izaya Orihara, of all people would get shot in the head without even noticing,' he thought and chuckled in amusement. 'That sounds so stupid that it's only a fitting end for someone like Shizu-chan.

'And yet, it happened to me.'

Izaya sighed, gazing straight ahead.

* * *

Shizuo had directed his steps in the direction the stench was coming from. However, as he was walking the smell began getting fainter and he halted when it was hardly detectable.

He stood still for a moment.

The smell was gone.

Shizuo frowned.

'Must have been wrong, after all … or the stupid flea got lucky and escaped before I found him,' he told himself.

He stayed there for a few minutes longer, but the stench did not come back.

'Yo.'

Shizuo turned around upon hearing a voice.

'Kadota.'

The other man seemed to scrutinise him before he spoke again. 'Something wrong?'

'Not really,' Shizuo replied with slight reluctance.

Kadota looked like he did not believe him entirely, but regardless of whether he did or not, he said nothing about it.

'Then, how about some Russia Sushi?'

The blond considered it.

'I don't see why not,' he sighed eventually.

* * *

Izaya lay on the ground, finding himself unable to get up – or do much else, for that matter – due to his head injury.

Blood was seeping from the wound, spreading around his head slowly.

'I never quite expected to be killed by someone other than Shizu-chan ... but I guess it's not quite bad this way either.'

Izaya sighed.

'How ironic that he's the person I'm thinking about when I'm about to die.'

He stared at his fingers, now crimson red like his eyes, and smirked lightly.

'This is why I hate him so much.'

Tired, he closed his eyes, the smirk still present on his face.

'Now then ... Heaven or hell, I wonder which one it is ...'

* * *

The End

* * *

First DRRR! fic and hopefully not the last.

I do hope it's not too OOC.

Sadly, FFN removed hearts and a musical note from Izaya's chat messages, but I'll have to live with it. Could have been worse.


End file.
